Alyson’s 5/02 Tarot：狹隘 Narrowness (34-57)
問題：我5/01的未來日記主題
抽牌：狹隘 Narrowness
今日的我在與朋友歡笑遊玩中察覺到自己窄小的眼界。
平時課堂上已是學習跟不上，今日的談笑中，發現思緒也跟不上朋友們。
到底是過去太消耗？還是現在太平淡？
確實原因如何，不知道，也不必花費心思了解，從現在起，將身體元氣補起來才是唯一之道。
以前忙著工作，能與人交談的內容很乏味。
現在忙著學習，能與人交談的內容很侷限。
之前忙著發呆，能與人交談的內容很無味。
說穿了，是自己的問題，而非忙碌與否。
看來，我是個”挑食”的孩子，只吃喜歡吃的，只聽喜歡聽到的，只看喜歡看到的，只記得想記得的。
不想關心的，不上心。
不想理解的，不入腦。
我的思緒既單純又直接，既單一又狹隘。
就像『狹隘』這張塔羅牌，九根水晶柱體從山頂天花板而降，每一根有著不同顏色，且又粗壯。
表示在我腦海中，每種知識，每種經驗累積起來有一定的厚度，有一定的含金量。
可是，就如同九根水晶柱那般，每柱之間沒有相連處，每柱之間沒有相同處，就也表示我的腦裡東西種類不少，內容不少，可是每種之間沒有任何關係，每種之間沒有任何連結。
不像是綿延的山脊，峰峰連連到天邊，那樣的漸進，連結與貫通。
『狹隘』~
九根不同的水晶，九種不同的功能，但，心智是封閉的，心房有著許多道門，隔著許多房間，卻是孤立且彼此間無法串連。
心智，思考，被一個一個柵欄給制約著，固定，不變，且狹小。
怎麼辦？
怎麼辦？
怎麼辦？
既然精力、精神不充足，既然時間如此有限，那就把心智範圍縮小，再縮小，專注，是現在唯一的武器。
用十足的專注，對於手上在努力的事情，更用心練習與學習。
讓堅硬的心智保持透徹，保持接收。
洞見與察覺會慢慢擴張，擴張，再擴張。
Alyson's 5/02 Tarot: Narrowness (34-57)
Question: Theme of my journal on 5/01
Card Drawn: Narrowness
Today, amidst laughter and play with friends, I became aware of my narrow perspective.
Normally struggling to keep up in class, today's banter revealed my thoughts lagging behind my friends'.
Is it the past draining me, or is the present too mundane?
The exact reason eludes me, and there's no need to dwell on it.
From now on, replenishing my physical and mental energy is the only way forward.
Before, consumed by work, my conversations were bland.
Now, engrossed in learning, my conversational topics are limited.
Previously lost in reverie, my discussions were tasteless.
It's my issue, not just a matter of busyness.
It seems I'm a "picky" child, only indulging in what I like, only listening to what I want to hear, only seeing what I want to see, only remembering what I want to remember.
What I don't want to care about, I ignore.
What I don't want to understand, I dismiss.
My thoughts are both simple and direct, yet singular and narrow.
Much like the "Narrowness" Tarot card,
With its nine crystal pillars descending from the ceiling, each a different color and thickness.
It symbolizes the accumulation of various knowledge and experiences in my mind, each with its own value.
However, like the pillars, they stand separate, lacking connection or continuity.
"Narrowness" - nine distinct crystals, nine different functions, yet the mind is closed off, compartmentalized, with many doors and rooms but isolated and disjointed.
The mind, the thoughts, constrained by fences, fixed, unchanging, and narrow.
What to do?
What to do?
What to do?
Since energy and time are limited, I'll narrow my mental scope, focus, concentrate—it's the only weapon I have now.
With full concentration, I'll apply myself even more to what I'm working on, practicing and learning diligently.
Let the rigid mind remain clear and receptive.
Insight and awareness will gradually expand, expand, and expand further.
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