- Chinese title:黑珍珠
- author: Rock Lin Sanren
- Publisher: A Book A Year
- Publication date: August 22, 2020
- Language: Traditional Chinese
- Genre: Science Fiction, Mystery
- Style: Humor, Creative
- Recommend : adult/ teen reader
- Contact: https://ip.taicca.tw/ip/show.do?ip_id=1985
The Black Pearl
Written by Rock Lin Sanren(石林散人)
Translated by Grace Najmulski (安蔡佳)
https://gnajtranslation.weebly.com/
Robert “Pup” Maynard was buzzing with energy.
They’d endured endless war, but now with the backing of the Federation of Allied Planets’ fleet, he’d finally driven Edward Teach—his arch nemesis also known as the notorious space pirate, Blackbeard—to the outer limits of known space.
Teach’s fleet had crumbled and been defeated. His flagship, the Queen Mary, had barely managed to escape with its damaged engine. Stranded in the dark vacuum of space, his only option had been to surrender.
“It’ll be lights out fer the Blackbeard Pirates pretty soon. The men on my crew only became pirates cuz I threatened ‘em. I hope when the time comes, you’ll put in a good word for ‘em. Don’t let ‘em hang. We’re in the era of space, so what ya still usin’ the old ways fer? Look at me. A captain oughta take responsibility, so I’ll be facin’ the consequences. That’s why, Puppy, if I could trouble ya fer half ‘n hour to say bye to my crew, then I’ll tell ya whereabouts your precious ‘Black Pearl’ is.”
Suspicious of how smoothly everything was going, Pup was wary of Blackbeard’s forthcoming attitude. As soon as his call with Blackbeard concluded, Pup made immediate arrangements to board the Queen Mary and arrest him. Though Pup suspected Blackbeard might be luring him and his crew off their own ship, leaving it open for Blackbeard and his crew to seize and flee on, Pup’s deep-set anxieties screamed that Blackbeard would slip through his fingers again and disappear if he didn’t do something.
His worries were well founded.
Having orchestrated an explosion on the Queen Mary, Blackbeard managed to escape through a portal in the chaos. When Pup noticed the portal closing, he abandoned his station and subordinates to jumped in after him.
***
Chai sighed. The work-study was a bigger pain than she’d anticipated. Or maybe she should say, work was a terrible pain. In the beginning, she’d thought working at her aunt’s handcrafted drink shop would be easy, but as it turned out her paycheck was always late and the job sucked.
But lately a black cat had started visiting the storeroom. The little kitty was absolutely adorable, and it was thanks to him that the dust-filled storage room became Chai’s favorite part of the shop.
“I wonder if Blackie will show up today.”
Chai gripped the door knob with anticipation. If the cat was back, it would make her day just that much easier. But Chai didn’t know that her so-called bad luck wasn’t an impossible wish, but rather the ugly and twisted way in which her wish would come to life.
***
Pup tiptoed forward. This was outside of the Federation’s jurisdiction, and the lack of detectable gravitational waves indicated the planet did not have a high standard of civilization, and yet his surroundings were perfectly tidy. The place clearly wasn’t natural and had been constructed by some lifeform, demonstrating that the planet’s residents had some level of civilization. If this was indeed a civilized planet, then he couldn’t let its inhabitants know he was here.
Pup activated his synaptic disrupter. This way, even if he was spotted by a one of the planet’s inhabitants, they would perceive him as a harmless lifeform.
A shadow came at him from behind.
Pup leaned backwards, dodging the attack just in time.
“Was that a magnetic claw?”
As he’d suspected, Blackbeard would avoid using a laser blaster so as not to leave a trail. Pup pressed away from the floor and kicked, his feet flying towards Blackbeard. The infamous pirate flipped out of the way to land on the wall, his hook into embedded in the surface.
“Been a while since we fought one-on-one.”
“Blackbearrrdd!” Pup roared.
“Puppppyyy!” His nemesis roared back.
The air exploded and the world shook from the directed sonic blasts—weapons tech that wouldn’t leave a trace. Sound waves collided in the middle of the room, cancelling each other out; they’d accidentally used the same attack.
A metallic scraping sound from the doorway and sent Blackbeard scrambling towards the wall.
Victory! Right as Pup was about to strike the final blow, he was engulfed by an enormous shadow. That’s when it dawned on him: he’d only accounted for the residents’ intellectual sophistication, it hadn’t occurred to him that the threat might stem from their physical stature.
One of the inhabitants picked him up by the scruff of his neck.
“Awe, wittle puppy, it’s not nice to pick on the weak like that!”
The duel had looked like nothing more than a Pomeranian barking at a black cat to Chai, frightening the feline to the point that it had leapt onto the wall where it now hung suspended.
“Hwa ha ha! What a shame, Puppy. The girly doesn’t stand a chance against my charms! To this silly little lifeform, I’m the cutest lil thing on this backwater planet!”
However, Blackbeard’s synaptic disrupter meant Chai heard nothing but the mewling of a spoiled kitten. Completely ignorant of Blackbeard’s condescension, she happily scratched under his chin.
“I knew you Federation folk wouldn’t measure up. All ya know is how to follow the rules, no room tuh think fer yerselves. Nah, just a bunch a pansies usin’ rules to excuse cowardice. It’s no wonder ya only got this far after spendin’ half yer life chasin’ my tail. A whole lifetime and ya still won’t get the jump on me!”
“You cur! I don’t care what Federation law forbids!” Poppy couldn’t resist rising to Blackbeard’s taunt.
“Aye? But hold a minute Puppy, yer a member of the police’s criminal division. The chief! Ain’tcha a protector of the order? Revealin’ the existence of a technologically advanced civilization’s a major offense!”
Synaptic disrupters utilize particular alternating currents to manipulate the neural processes of nearby organisms and skew their perception. However, its very reliance on alternating currents is what leaves the device open to tampering. With Pup’s adjustments, Chai’s senses gradually returned.
“Eeek!”
Chai looked down to find that the black cat she’d been holding had transformed into a middle-aged man with cat ears!
Its formerly feather-soft belly was now nothing but flab; its previously adorable stubby legs now appeared swollen and bloated.
“You mean that kitty smell was old guy stink this whole time?! I want my innocence back!”
Without Chai’s protection, Blackbeard had no choice but to surrender and hand over the black pearl in hopes of receiving a lighter sentence. But things had changed…
“There was a big bowl a somethin’ past that door that looked ‘bout the same size ‘n color. I tossed it in figurin’ I’d wait til I had the time to go back and dig it up.”
Blackbeard guided Pup and the still sobbing Chai through the different teas until they came to a table. He pointed at the bowl of tapioca pearls on top.
“I’mma turn on the tracker. It’s the shiner, ya follow?”
The pirate tapped his arm to activate the device, but no light appeared.
“Didja mess with anythin’ in that there bowl?” He asked Chai.
“Of tapioca pearls? Yeah, I just sold a cup.”
“Chai, you meowt’ve just sold yer world’s very future.”
“Inside that drink was the crystalized form of the most dangerous poison in the history of the Federation of Allied Planets.”
***
Three people—well, a person, a dog, and a cat—called a temporary truce to save the world. Chai hopped on the shop’s old delivery scooter and together, commenced operation Black Pearl Pursuit.
They weaved through traffic, threading their way through the old city’s winding streets and flying over piles of alleyway junk until finally, hope was in sight. Waiting just up ahead at the traffic light was the customer she’d sold the Pearl to. But with traffic at a standstill, he could take a sip any moment, and Chai’s scooter couldn’t squeeze through the surrounding cars to reach him.
Chai jumped off the scooter and made a break for the customer.
It’ll be fine. The customers always complain about the straws not being strong enough to poke a hole through the top. Chai thought. We’ve got time! But opposite to what she’d hoped, the man had managed to pierce the top and was taking a leisurely sip. She only saw flashes of the pearls glistening green in the light, slowly going up the straw and into the man’s mouth, before he spit them out.
“Blegh, too sweet! Do I look like some sweet-toothed Tainanese geezer?”
While Chai apologized, Pup and Blackbeard sneakily recovered the Black Pearl from the ground.
***
Crisis averted; the trio returned to the still messy storeroom.
“Looks like it wasn’t as serious as you made it out to be.” Chai remarked.
“You think it only affects certain races?” Pup guessed. “People don’t usually react like that the first time.”
“Must be, that was real borin’. Looked like he was already a addict.”
“What’s the Black Pearl’s chemical composition?” Chai asked.
“C12H22O11.”
Pup summoned a projection of its molecular makeup for her to see.
“Isn’t that just sugar?! Why’d you guys talk about it like it was some crazy poison?”
“That stuff is dangerous! Eat too much and you could end up with tooth decay, obesity, sagging skin, poor vision, decrease in bone density, and even a chronic condition from the strain it puts on your digestive tract!”
“As long as no customers were poisoned, I’d call that a happy ending.”
“There’s always a happy end after a adventure, but feels like we misled the readers!”
“A criminal’s execution counts, too.” Pup said, fishing out a pair of handcuffs and cuffing himself to Blackbeard.
“Puppy!? I thought we had somethin’!”
“As if!”
“Old Man, I wanna confess somethin’ before we go.”
Beams of light began to arc and curve in front of Pup and Blackbeard.
“When you were trynna get me to cooperate, it wasn’t as a Federation officer or cuz it’s yer duty as a public servant—you felt bad, didn’tcha? You didn’t want me to hang.”
The twisting lights morphed into a black void, floating before them.
“But I ain’t some Federation pawn. I’mma free spirit. Even if I hang fer it, I wouldn’t change a thing. I don’t want the path I’ve chosen to change fer just anythin’.”
“Blackbeard…”
“That’s why I ain’t lettin’ ya take me in.”
Blackbeard suddenly charged ahead. Pup yanked back on the cuffs, but the pirate’s left hand was the only thing attached.
“A prosthetic?”
“What pirate ain’t missin’ a part or few?”
Blackbeard dashed forward, but at the last minute dodged to the side to duck behind a shelf where a second portal awaited.
“Did’ja know, ya ain’t see portals too often, but that don’t mean ya won’t run into a second.”
Having only seen the first portal, Pup could only respond with a confused, “What?”
“Whew, I feel great! I’ll be seein’ ya, Puppy.” Blackbeard’s voice grew more and more distant as the portal shrank.
Pup sighed and turned to face Chai.
“Perhaps I’ve grown a little too accustomed to chasing him. Seems like some point along the way I started to dread that this might suddenly end one day. But with how everything’s turned out, I can enjoy another day of our little game. Thank you, Miss.” He bowed, then jumped through the portal.
The storeroom returned to its usual silence following the portal’s disappearance.
“Chai, don’t forget to come help me after you’ve finished with storage! Also, the sugar’s almost out. Bring another bag!”
“Kay.”
Sugar in hand, Chai thought that maybe she should urge customers to drink less sugar, or none at all.
